Mental Illnesses (yes Plural) and some Religion

Well I've had enough. I had planned to keep this part of my life off this blog, because this blog is about my mother, but the two keep intertwining, and I can no longer keep the two separate. I'm wondering if anyone else in the world is dealing with two mental illnesses in their family at one time. Does this happen to anyone else? What are the odds?

I've been asking myself these questions over and over all day today. It started yesterday, I received a phone call from a family friend that my brother was in the hospital. He apparently was psychotic, and not making much sense and was calling people from the hospital. (Our tax dollars at work! heh.) He then called my mother (twice), who is visiting her sister and was quite content (exception being not being able to email the people from Jamaica to get her winning sweepstakes) and told my mom that she wasn't his real mother. Yes I know that is a run on sentence. .

Now, any normal, rational person would understand that my brother is sick, and being that he's schizophrenic, they would understand that he didn't really mean this, and that he was delusional. My mother, however, doesn't understand this. She got very upset and was hurt by the fact that her son told her he wasn't her mother. I know as a mother myself, I would be upset too.

How do you deal with this? How can you explain to your mother that your brother really didn't mean what he said, when your mother doesn't even understand what schizophrenia is?

So here is what I'm wondering.

1. Is there a genetic link between schizophrenia and Alzheimers
2. Should I check myself into the hospital now or later?? prozac anyone?
3. I'm losing them both at the same time. Is there a reason for this? Is this the way God planned it?

I really feel like sometimes it's just too much to handle at one time. I can't help them both. I can't make either better. I can only get through each day. My instincts tell me there is a link, a reason, there is something bigger going on here. I want to know what it is. Correction, I need to know what it is.

Someone said to me today, they said they were in counseling and asked the counselor, isn't everyone's life like this? The counselor answered a firm "no". Was the counselor wrong? Right? *Is* everyone's life like this? Or is it just my life? Are there families out there that are still 'normal'? I don't remember normal it's been so long. I really miss my Dad.

Finally, Trying to find some answers, I came across this interesting article. It's basically saying there is a link between alzheimers, schizophrenia and autism. My younger son is possibly on the spectrum for autism. We haven't had him officially diagnosed on paper, but verbally we were told he has Aspergers syndrome. We didn't want him labeled at such a young age, and he's actually doing quite well, so I'm going to avoid that mountain until I have to climb it. . but It just clicked tonight. There has to be a connection.


Photo's tonight are for two reasons. The first, called Air, was taken at Alcatraz. I feel like in a way both my mom and my brother are imprisoned, and they only get a small portion of what they need to be 'normal'. They can see outside, but they can't get out there. They can only get what comes through the opening.

The second, since I touched on religion a little tonight, I'll throw up one of my favorite pictures. It was taken in a mission in California and spoke to me. It's a very old oil painting. I cropped it and lightened it a little. It still intrigues me to look at it.

Early Onset Video

Thanks to C.H. for sharing this video with me.

It's about early onset AD, and ran on a local Maryland news channel. There is a short 10 second commercial before the actual video.



My email back to her-
I'm going to stick that on my blog. It's very accurate as to the frustration of the early diagnosis. I actually flew home and TOOK my mother to the doctor when she was 61 and 62 and said look, I'm scared she's got early onset alzheimers, I used those exact words and the doctor dismissed me. He's like oh she's fine, and my mom was like Oh I'm fine- so that was the end of it.

"I can't put your mother on medicine if she doesn't want to take it, she's an adult." was his remark to me.

I understand, yes she's an adult, and yes she was only 61 or 62, but who knows her better than her daughter, her sister and her best friend? Doctors should listen more and talk less sometimes. We could have saved her years of this frustration had she taken the medication earlier. Just think of the difference in her personality then and now.



The photo today is titled
"If I had only seen it earlier"

I think you get the connection :)

Back to Reality

Well, she's been home now for a week. It's only taken that long to undo all that positive karma we had when she was here. Yesterday, on my birthday no less, she called me to tell me that she'd won the sweepstakes and she was frustrated with the fact that she couldn't go use the payphone to call them. A friend of hers called me upset because my mom was insisting she take her to the phone. When I called my mom back she got angry with me on the phone and pretty much hung up.

This morning, she called, and I was thinking that she'd remembered it was my birthday and was calling to say Happy Birthday, but nope, she was calling to tell me that she was angry with me because "I had told XXXX to cut her phone off." Without getting into specifics, it was just not good to hear my mom yelling and so upset. She was insistent that I call XXXX and tell her "not to cut off my phone until Dec 1st, because I'm going to win the sweepstakes!" When I asked her what she needed money for, she said to "pay me back for helping her." I said Mom, you don't owe me any money and you don't owe anyone else any money. There is no reason why you even need any money. All your bills are paid, and you have everything you need, just enjoy it. . . That didn't go over so well. She got mad at yelled bye and hung up on me.

Yes, I know she's sick. Yes, I know she has AD. But it doesn't make it any easier. This is the first time since I've been alive she forgot my birthday. Selfish? Maybe, but it was important to me to know she's still here. She's still my mom ya know? That she remembers family and the important things. But instead, she's focused on some crook who's just brainwashed her and is making this dreadful disease worse on her and everyone else. I really wish our government could do something about this. It's really out of control.

Great Time in Vermont and Departure

This weekend we took my mom to Vermont. We stayed at a working Dairy Farm and then did some site seeing. One of the highlights was a hayride through a historic 1890's Farm. It was beautiful. Mom really seemed to like the wagon ride, but not the cows. The boys of course loved every minute of it. We took her to eat at a Japanese Steak House. That was rather interesting as she really just wanted "a chicken breast". I kept saying Mom they don't have KFC here, and she was like well that's what I want! We ordered her the chicken and she liked it, but I was worried for a little while she wouldn't eat it. We did get her to try some sushi, which she promptly spit out and said it was the worst thing she had ever tasted. :)

We got back home Sunday night and she worked on another puzzle. We didn't get to finish it, but she, my younger son and husband all worked on it together for quite a while. Today I took her to the airport, and after repacking her bags so that neither were over 50lbs, I went through security with her and waited until she boarded the plane. Everything seemed to go according to schedule, and she called this evening when she got home. I've tried to call her a few times since, to make sure the house is ok, and no pipes broke or anything, but I can't get her. She's making plans to go visit her sister in a few weeks, which will be good for her. I know she's going to enjoy that, and then we are going to try to get her to come back for Christmas. Overall, it was a great visit, and a good experience for everyone. I miss her already.

The photograph is of Liberty Hill Farm, where we stayed in Vermont. Great Place!