Let the waiting begin

I'm going to simplify the next few months and say that basically, it was a daily conversation with my mother, trying to convince her that things were not going to change. Trying to get her to come visit, get away from the house, get her mind focused on something positive. None of these tactics worked. She was determined to sit in the house and be miserable. The phone calls continued, daily. . to everyone and anyone that could listen. Neighbors took my mom places, and the social workers tried to get on a schedule for basic necessities. My mom was never happy. If one social worker brought one thing, she wanted something else. Not being able to have any of her own money drove her crazy. She wanted to be able to run up to the store when she wanted and get what she wanted. Having someone else do this for her really upset her. I had employed a man in the community to check on my mother a few times a week in addition to what the social workers were doing. My Uncle also tried to go by once a week. Everyone reported back to me the same thing. . she's upset. Some days were better than others, but overall, the beginning of each phone conversation was something like this.

Hi mom, how are things today? TERRIBLE! she would respond, and then go into her rant about not being able to drive, not having money. I would then change the subject... "Mom, the boys want to see you, do you want to come up next week?" NO! I can't! I have to wait here and see what the heck is going on."

The conversation would go around in a few circles, but basically, she wasn't going to leave the house.It always ended with who she wanted me to call and why, and then she'd add, "I'm the most upset I've been since your father past away." I finally gave in and started buying her puzzles on ebay so she'd have something positive to do in the house. I called her friends and asked them to please go by. I kept up with the tennis schedule, would call and alert her to anything I thought she might want to watch on TV. She seemed to be ahead of me on that, thankfully, and it was good to know she was still keeping up with a few things she enjoyed.

Sometimes, I'd have my boys call her and have them ask her to come visit. She'd tell them politely that she couldn't and then say let me speak to your mom ok?

During this time, one of the guardian team sent an email stating that she really felt like it was time for my mom to go into assisted living. The other guardian team member who is responsible for my mom's well being and health stated that she was 'leaning that way.' It was a hard email for me to read. I really couldn't even grasp the concept that my mom might be moving out of her home into a locked facility at 65 years old. I called her, and pretty much begged her to stop making phone calls all over town. I explained that she was upsetting people, and if she kept it up, they might not let her live in her house anymore. My mom refused this idea, told me that no one can make her move from her home because there is nothing wrong with her. This became my focus for next few weeks, which brings me up to date, exception being two garage sales I'll comment on next entry.