Garage Sales & House Issues

So, in the past few weeks, I'll say the end of August through yesterday, September 20th, my mother has decided to have 2 garage sales. Let me preface this by explaining that my mother's home has a basement, that has collected family members things over the last 20+ years, myself included. When I was in college, this served for free storage between moves. Friends of the family and even relatives that have since passed away stored things in this basement. The home my mother lives in was purchased by my father in 1969 for his mother, my grandmother. It has been in our family since, and has served us all well. In September of 2006, my husband and I purchased the house for almost what it was appraised for, thinking it was a good move financially for my mother to not have the house in her name, and to not have to worry about her gambling and sweepstakes habits. My mother had also been taking out loans against the house, and had two mortgages which made her payment way too much for the value of the home. She was having a hard time paying it every month, and I was scared she was going to lose the house. I wanted to make sure my mother had a home. We had been to see an estate lawyer and had my mom change the home over to us and get her will and financial papers in order. This was before the official AD diagnosis too, but I was worried even at that time. We made arrangements through the bank for my mom to pay what she could afford after retirement. This was about $150 short of what my husband and I were going to have to pay for the home, but it was a small price to pay for my mom's well being and future stability. I convinced my husband to go with this plan, and while he didn't agree with me, he did.

So- Garage sale time; when my mom had her money 'taken away' as she says, she decided to cash in on the gold mine of things in the basement. I figured, well that will keep her busy for a while. Marking all those things is going to be very time consuming, and then getting all of the things from the basement to outside would be a weeks job within it self. The guardians told her she could not have a yard sale, because it's illegal in our town to have one without a permit. (The permit costs $100.) My mom said that was stupid and she wasn't paying $100 to sell her own things. I'd have to say I agree with her on that one, but I still didn't want her to get in trouble. She asked for money to have change on hand, and she was told no. She eventually got a neighbor to take her up to get change. The signs were too small, and illegible. She put them on stop signs all over town. My Uncle called to tell me about the signs. The man I paid to check in her called me to tell me how impressed he was at the organization of the yard sale. He said she had everything marked, organized and neat.

The first yard sale didn't yield much of a profit. My mom called to tell me how upset she was. I think she made like $40. I told her it might have something to do with the tiny signs she stuck up all over town (on stops signs no less.) It's amazing she didn't get a ticket. I figured the police were so tired of hearing from her, the last thing they wanted to do is go by and have to talk to her. (She called up to the police station daily to tell them how upset she was.)

The second yard sale, same scenario, same issues, was yesterday. She spent last Wednesday through Friday getting everything ready and out. I told her not to put anything on the signs but 'yard sale' and an arrow. If she did this or not, I don't know, but when I called her yesterday, she said the yard sale went terrible. (Terrible is one of her favorite words lately.) She said no one came and she didn't sell one piece of clothing. What is interesting is that my mom has the ability to keep up with who's stuff sold, add it all up, and keep tally's on everyone's things, but she doesn't understand that people can't read her small signs. AD is a peculiar thing. Luckily no ticket again this time. I think she made $20. She called to tell me that I made $2.50. I'm guessing baby clothes I left from one of my children. I have a good mind to go down there and put most of that stuff up on ebay for her. I know she'd make a lot more, and then just donate whatever doesn't sell to the goodwill, but having the yard sales seems to be keeping her focused, busy and it's giving her something to do so, I'm going to let it be for the time being. When I found out she was going to have another yard sale, I thought about going down to help her, but my husband had to go out of town for the last two weeks, and it financially just wasn't going to work for us right now.

I should note here that I have an Uncle who is not well physically, and cannot move his things out of the basement. I called him yesterday to tell him that he really needs to have someone come get his things because the guardian team is leaning towards my mom going into assisted living. When that day comes, we'll have to rent the house out or sell it.

The idea of selling that house makes my stomach turn. My father bought that house, for my grandmother. Not only did I live in the house, my entire immediate and extended family, including two separate uncles, and my aunt who has since passed away. It was my grandmothers house until my father died, and then we moved in with her and my Aunt. It holds every memory of my grandmother from childhood up until she passed away. I'm not sure I could sell it. Financially however, I'm not sure we can afford to hang onto it. That just complicates my feelings of my mom going into assisted living. I want what is best for her. But what is best for her? She's not going to understand if they move her from her home. She would be devastated. But is sitting in that house alone good for her? Would she be happier around other people? I don't know the answers to these questions.